What’s in Your Cupcake? (The Tao of Killing a Computer)

           So, today my computer world crashed. All of it. My iPad, my HP laptop, my Gateway desktop; they all went blue-screen berserk on me. I borrowed my husband’s computer for a few minutes; then he realized what I was doing and yanked it away from my murderous hands lest my poisonous fingers kill his livelihood along with my own. There’s no telling what went wrong: I have no idea, so please don’t ask. I came home from the tennis courts, worked out, then tried to do my graduate homework. All hell broke loose. The iPad went dark, as if its battery died, so I moved to my laptop. It froze, turned a brilliant shade of aqua blue, so I politely left it to sort itself out and I moved to the desktop.

               The desktop worked great for sixteen minutes or so, then the screen started changing colors, like it was remembering the order of rainbow hues, then it also went blue, and froze. None of them have returned to the land of the living yet. So, here I write to you on my neighbor’s computer, after, of course, he prayed over it. Like I meant to kill my toys. I do not have murder in my heart, even when I look like I haven’t slept in a month and I have lightning coming from my hands.

               Tomorrow I will go to Best Buy, and they will fix my precious electronic friends. Same as new. Without charging me a dime. And they will tell me what I need to do so this NEVER EVER happens again. Since this is my clear intention, and I have full confidence that this or something better will happen, I will sleep like a child tonight.

Ever have those moments, where something unplanned occurs, and you have so much faith in yourself and others around you that you have no fear? Or are you one of those people that sees the falling sky, and wonders, “Why does this always happen to me?”

Want to know a quick secret? It is not an accident, either way. You are creating your world, for better or worse, through sickness and health, until death do you part. Don’t believe me? Great. Today you get to try this one activity. Actually, I lied. You have to try two activities.

1) Monitor your thoughts. Pay attention! When you wake up in the mornings, are you excited about the day, or do you dread putting your feet on the ground and starting? When you drop a gallon of brand new orange juice so that it explodes all over the kitchen (that was me the other day), do you swearing and thinking negative thoughts, or do you just mop it up and get ready for work, still in a good mood?

As you move in traffic, what thoughts go through your mind? In the office, with your coworkers, employees, employers, random people that cross paths with you, as you interact, what thought structure runs through your brain? Are they negative, like “Oh, gosh, I really don’t want to talk to her today!”? Are they positive, like “I’m so happy I get see her this afternoon!” Do you use negative words, like, “I’m so stupid! I can’t believe I did that!” or do you use positive words, “Well, what a fortunate turn of events! I can do this in a better way.”

2) Notice what you are thinking when you feel a certain way–frustration, happiness, eagerness, exhaustion, surprise, contentment, fear, nervous, angry, and any other emotion that I may have missed—without judgment. Just try to see/hear/feel your thoughts, and do not criticize.  This is the first step to being a little happier in life. Be aware. According to Andy Shaw of A Bug-Free Mind, most people have absolutely no idea what ideas they generate in their heads, so most of the time people move unconsciously through life. They are not aware of what they are bringing into their lives, or what they may be stopping from appearing in their lives.

So, that’s it, I’m done. My neighbor is politely watching me, trying not to look worried. Maybe it’s because my fingers are moving so fast they look like lightning. Maybe he just wants his computer back safely.Do not stress over this. No judgment, remember? Simply relax, and monitor your thoughts as often as you can remember. The first time I did this several years ago, I found that checking in on my thoughts was harder than I thought it would be. I’ll share more some other time, in one of my 2200-word posts. Tonight is not about me; tonight is about you, Cupcake, and what’s inside your scrumptious brain. Are your thoughts sugar and spice, and everything nice? Are they snakes and jails, and scorpion tails? Are they a mix? Are they simply colors? How does your body react? What is happening around you?

As you try to do this activity as much as possible, celebrate yourself! You are becoming more aware of YOU, which makes you an even more wonderful gift to yourself and to others. Big yay and cheerleading jump! Find your thoughts, Cupcake, and as always, let me know how it’s going! What’s inside you, Cupcake?

I bid you sweet good-bye until next time, and I will leave you with one more thought: Kill the thing-ing, not the computer. Be the best cupcake you can be, and stay frosted!

Hello world!

Own Your Cupcake

Thank you for coming to the party! I am so very glad you’re here! Let’s celebrate your greatness!

Ownyourcupcake is here because everyone needs a little sugar in her life. Lately, the word cupcake has been associated with weakness. The phrase “Suck it up, cupcake!” is yelled when someone isn’t performing well or wants to quit an activity, and a person is called “cupcake” when she is perceived as lazy, weak, or just not up to someone else’s standards. Speaking as an avid lover of cupcakes (especially chocolate cake with chocolate chips and cream cheese frosting–yummy!), I am here to inform you of three things:

1. There are days when you need to be a cupcake, and that’s perfectly ok. Go for it with abandon. Bawl your eyes out until your head gets stuffy, your eyes puff up and you can’t see, and your nose is red enough to help Santa on Christmas Eve. You will feel better when you are completely drained, and then you will be ready to heal.
2. There are days when you need to “suck it up.” Embrace your pain, and be stronger than you think you are; this is an opportunity to become a better you;
3. There are days when you need to be strong enough to look in the mirror and learn the real the cause of your pain, which is the best cupcake ever. Why, you ask? It means you are ready to change a part of your life.

There is no judgement here to which kind of cupcake you are or which kind of cupcake you choose to be: there is only the desire to help you be the best cupcake under the sun. So, my dear reader: see your cupcake, be your cupcake, and own your cupcake! 🙂

Just like cupcakes, people have the same basic ingredients, but certain elements that make them different. As humans, we all feel emotions of fear, sadness, anger, and happiness; however, our separate backgrounds and experiences make us who we are. On this site, I’m going to give you a few tools to navigate life in an easier way as I help you regain a little control over the one thing in life that you should be able to: your greatness and happiness. I will share scenarios that most people have experienced or can relate to (being cut off in traffic, feeling rejected), and then I will give you two or three exercises to help banish the negativity that can become emotional baggage over time. Sometimes I will mention an author, a book, or a webpage. Do not panic! I am not selling anything (yet, ha!). This may be a resource that I have found helpful or a place where I found similar information. I am simply giving credit where credit is due. Of course, you are free to buy the book or visit the webpage, but do not feel obligated in any way to spend money.

Starting June 8, I will post blogs once a week, maybe more if I’m feeling spicy. The “breaks” are so you have time to try out my suggestions and actually put them into action. Gotta’ own your cupcake, remember?