Hey, Chica! What’s up? I struggle with what to tell you, because I know you will do one of two things with the information. You will either go right at it, and forget everything else, or you will completely ignore it, and go a different route (and while I am very interested to see how you would turn out if you ignored me, I would not be this person today, and hey, you’re kind of awesome.) So, in the spirit of science fiction and “The Sound of Thunder,” I will try not to step on any butterflies.
There are three pieces of advice I feel confident giving you.
1). Stay in school. Go ahead and get your Master’s degree ( and PhD if you feel like it at 23). Just trust me–yourself–more than your adopted parents. You’re going to get it anyway, so do it while you’re still young and free and have the chance to go wherever you want.
2) If someone makes you feel bad for being yourself, get out of his or her reach. If you can’t leave, then remember this is just a temporary setting, but your soul is forever.How does God see you (yes, He does)? If you think He is pleased or proud, you are on the right path, no matter what someone else may tell you.
3) Know that you turn out OK, kiddo. You return to love, and you get to do things other people only imagine. You help others. You may be betrayed, you may get tired of “fighting the good fight,” and you may have your heart broken a few times, but the world is better because you are in it. Don’t you ever forget that.
So, dawlin, hang in there. Hang around people who you trust. And enjoy your life. You only get this one once before you move on, so do the best you can with it, ok?
And remember you’re an awesome ripple, baby!
XXX and OOO
Love always,
An older, wiser and just as goofy and air-headed YOU
Ok, so in the spirit of blogging every day, I am channeling my friend Sabine, and writing from my iPhone. I need to relax and be calm. “Don’t panic, Cupcake.” I tell myself this as, of course, I panic. Why?
Because I have a nasty worm virus on my laptop. If this isn’t bad enough, since my computers are all linked to each other, they are ALL INFECTED! So, to make a long story longer, I have given my favorite laptop to the Geek Squad from Best Buy.
I am trying not to panic. What can go wrong?
Well, for starters, they can put my computer back at factory settings, in which case all my research files will be lost. All my images will be lost, as well.
They can put another program in my system and steal information from me.
They could lose my computer, or break it (not that this would be bad, but again, nothing is backed up on a USB drive).
So, is this a Law of Attraction problem, or just simple Liz paranoia? Will my computer be ok? Will my blogs be ok? Will my pictures be ok? Will they plagiarize some of my papers that are currently under review in academic magazines?
And hey, I’ve backed up my files on the other computers, which are also out of current commission. Some papers are on flash drives, but not all. Don’t judge: you should know by now computers and I are not BFFs.
Ugh! And I hate the waiting game! How long will it take? They said it was a relatively simple problem once they identified the worm, but they haven’t called me. Was it worse than they expected? Did they do something wrong? If I haven’t heard from them when I get off work, should I call them and ask how my baby is doing?
Or should I relax? Breathe deeply, and trust that everything will be ohhh…kayyyy. Since I am not a billionaire, and I am a relatively boring person–seriously, only other academics would pilfer an academic’s work–I think I should just let the techs do their awesome magic and play the waiting game.
And since I am exhausted, I should just go to bed, and tomorrow figure out a way to post a picture from my media page 🙂 ok. Got it. All over calm. Right now I am the epitome of calm. Don’t panic, Cupcake. It’ll be fine.
Check on me tomorrow.
Ok, Cupcake, time to share and care. What sends you into panic mode?
I’m dying. Not like “buried in the ground” dying, but definitely at the end of my rope. I am exhausted. My heart rate is just barely faster than a bunny rabbit’s, and I’m in the cool down. I can’t hold my leg up for a quad stretch because my arms are too weak. Everything feels heavy, and I am covered in so much sweat that I am my very own swimming pool. My friend, Heather Santo, shared Bob Harper’s new Daily Burn workout site on her Facebook page, and I thought to myself, If Heather thinks it’s great, it’s gotta be a ton of fun, right?
I should have known better. Did you see the picture on top of this blog? Does he look like he’s having a “ton of fun” to you? Yeah, he kicked my A$$.
I unceremoniously collapse to the floor, and as I stretch my back a little and close my eyes, I think, Bob Harper needs a cupcake. He’d be nicer if he had some sort of sugar fix.
If you don’t know who Bob Harper is, I won’t judge you (non-judgement site here): he was one of the most popular trainers in the NBC show The Biggest Loser, and he has four books that deal with developing good eating and workout habits.
If you do know Bob Harper, you know that not only would he be shocked and appalled at my very thought; he would probably order me to do ten more push ups, diamond-style for added effect. Cupcakes are to him what turnip greens are to me; repugnant. However, the fact that Bob is nowhere near me makes me very brave.
Plus, at this moment, I am simply too tired to care.
And I love it.
Sure, I just burned a serious amount of calories, and I will absolutely sleep like a dog later tonight. But I love this fatigue because right now, at this very moment, I am so tired that my brain is free. It is in its own zone, and thoughts simply do not matter at this moment. There is no to-do list nor a time limit. There are no problems that need solving, no agendas that need finishing, or emotions that need attention. My brain is simply releasing endorphins and other “feel good” chemicals into my body and emits a pleasant electrical pulse throughout my body as my breathing slows. It is here that I can reach my personal version of “no mind.”
For those of you who have no idea what I mean, the best movie scene I can think of is from The Last Samurai, with Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise’s character, Algren, is captured by the Samurai and stays as their guest/prisoner for two seasons. He learns their language and their style of fighting. However, the Sword Master Uijo detests him, and beats Algren every time Algren tries to train. At one point, all the other warriors are watching, and Algren’s host Nobutada comes up to him and tells Algren he has “too many mind.” He points out that Algren’s mind is thinking about the sword he is using, fighting his enemy/trainer, his gambling “audience” watching the fight, and even his own pride. Nobutada tells Algren that for Algren to win, he must have “no mind”: quit thinking so much about so many things. Find the one thing, the part inside that is true peace, and move from there. When Algren finally achieves this, he wins (OK, it’s technically a draw, but that’s beside the point).
This scene illustrates two things: 1) we constantly have multiple thoughts fighting for attention and demanding action in our minds, and 2) one must make a conscious decision to find her own “no mind,” which takes effort.
In the mornings, I find it easy to meditate (or pray) and find my state of “no mind,” but it is difficult for me to hold it all day; to be honest, I do not have the discipline. I tend to lose my quiet and peaceful mind as I go about my day and solve troublesome problems, make difficult decisions, interact with others who are not self-aware, and deal with stressful obligations such as deadlines. I get edgy and short-tempered when I have “too many minds” going on for too long. When my stress builds up, my body lets me know in multiple ways. I am tired, but I cannot sleep well. I have headaches. I cannot focus on one thing, because I feel restless or my mind reminds me of other, “more important” issues. All my ideas sound great until I put them on paper, then they fall apart. And the feeling that I am “failing” my task just amplifies all these sensations, which heightens my stress levels, and so the cycle repeats itself. Sometimes, when I try to meditate or slow my brain waves down, I am so hyper that my breathing technique does not help. Sometimes even listening to the original Silva Life System mp3 or one of the quick meditation tracks by Amish Shah and Dr. Puja Shah do not work, because I waited too late to “calm” my brain down.
At these times, workouts are my salvation. I am not talking about a gentle walk with my husband through our neighborhood or around the mall, or lifting a few pounds for five reps and taking a two-minute rest. I’m talking about all-out, gut-wrenching, want-to-scream or cry but too freaking tired to do either. Some of the Beachbody workouts do this, but I like to change things up (or, as in the case of Shaun T’s Insanity: the Asylum, I said “to heck with this” and quit after injuring my wrist halfway through the plan—don’t judge). I know. You think I’m crazy. I’m OK with that. Remember, I’m just giving you ideas on things you can try when other things do not “work” for you. That’s how much I love you, Cupcake.
If you’ll remember, a few weeks ago I blogged about my weight (http://bit.ly/1I2QajH). When Heather shared Bob Harper’s site, and it offered a 30-day free trial, I jumped. I needed something to get me going. The first day, we started out with squats where you touched the ground with your fingers and reached up high, lunges, and toy soldiers. That was the warm up. I wanted to quit. I told myself to go for ten minutes, then I could stop.
The first five minutes, I listened to every voice that came at me.
You shouldn’t have gained so much weight. Your body wouldn’t be so hard to move.
You shouldn’t have stopped working out. You wouldn’t be breathing like a hippo in labor.
You’re really too tired to do this. How about choosing another workout or do this later?
You can’t keep up with those fitness models.
A relative saying that “Liz talks a big game, but—well, you know” when discussing my workouts with another relative in front of me.
Freaking Bob Harper yelling, “It doesn’t count if you don’t come all the way up. Make it to your lowest score. Come on, three seconds left!”
Are you kidding me? What the hell did Heather Santo get me into?
The worst part is not the physical weight I feel on my shoulders with each negative thought; the worst part is that when I try to banish the negativity, I become even more fatigued, because now I am paying attention to three things at once: negative thoughts, arguing with those negative thoughts, and moving my body. Take my word for it, it sucks. It’s like carrying a twenty-pound backpack around all the time, and I am not a Marine.
I was a successful athlete a million years ago. In high school, I was in the sports section of the local newspapers every week. In college, I ran the 100m in 11.85 seconds (back then, you had to run an 11.6 to qualify for Nationals). When I had back surgery several years ago, my main focus was to return to the tennis courts and compete. Less than a year after my surgery, I was almost undefeated in women’s singles (I lost one match–my team’s final match in our Regional tournament), and I was ranked third in the state (first in the Dallas-Fort Worth area). I know what it takes to succeed, and I know how to put in the work. The one thing I learned to find and practice during my high school days that moved to college and beyond? No Mind.
“No mind” happens when I get just a little past tired, and it usually takes about 12-15 minutes of hard work for me. Let me power through something, be it sprints or plyometrics or moving brand new heavy furniture into my study, and I can feel “no mind” start. My brain gets to the point where it doesn’t have the energy to focus on “too many mind,” because it now needs to concentrate on my body’s actions so I do not injure myself nor end up in the hospital. I focus inward, and this is how simple it becomes: breathe, do, breathe, do, breathe, do, STOP. Breathe.
In high school and college, it usually came during sprint workouts or repeated drills with very little rest. This may be what some people call “runner’s high,” but I can’t be sure because I never felt it when I went jogging. Some may think this is a “second wind.” I will not argue. Exercise stimulates the brain’s release of endorphins (natural pain killers), serotonin (which fights depression), and Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF, which also fights depression as well as helps with memory and brain health).
For me, all of this happens, but there is a stillness deep inside, a quiet yet powerful force, a calm radiant energy the glows while the chemical reactions eradicate any negativity from each cell in my body.
During the first Black Fire workout, I felt the miracle start to happen. I was breathing so loud and fast that I could barely hear Bob on the TV. My head was pounding so hard with all the blood flow that all I wanted to do was FINISH. My brain pattern switched as I decided I wasn’t going through a measly ten minutes of this workout to feel like I did at the beginning and have to fight more negative jibes later. I was going all the way to the end of the video.
The only sounds I hear are Bob’s “Go,” my rhythmic heavy breathing as I jump on a box or push myself completely off the floor, and Bob’s “Rest.” I do not care about phone calls, emails, or the fitness models behind Bob. My brain waves have changed. Instead of just one or two blocking the others, they are now all working together to help me finish in one piece. All I care about are the numbers in my head that I must obtain. “You are competing against yourself. Don’t drop below your lowest number.” I am going to keep the same number the whole time.
The first time I did this workout, I was just over ½ of what the twenty-something models did. Today was my fourth time to do this particular workout in two weeks. I managed to improve on everything except the damned burpees, which come at the end; but, as tired as I was, I did not go down in my original number of that hated exercise. I can be proud that I am only a few reps behind the little blonde in the back. I can claim that I actually tied G.I. Jane for 7 hand-release push ups the entire 8 rounds (yeah, baby, that’s 56 push ups done on my toes, all the way to the floor—boo-yah!). While I am intensely competitive, the irony here is that I did not realize I tied her until that round of exercise was finished and Bob was asking everyone for numbers.
“No mind” also means “more production.” If you look at the picture above, you will see two brains. The brain on the left is the brain of someone who sat “quietly” for twenty minutes. On the right is a student who went for a walk for twenty minutes. See how the right brain is all lit up like a Christmas tree? That’s a sign the chemicals I talked about earlier have been released. Can you guess which brain is more active with less effort? Here’s a hint: it is the one with more color. According to Forbes, a person in a positive brain state is 31% more productive, 40% more likely to get a promotion, and almost 10 times “more engaged at work, live longer, get better grades, and show less acute symptoms.” And look, just walking for twenty minutes changed the brain. You do not have to be intense or insane, or insanely intense. You just have to move in a way that makes you breathe harder than normal.
So, Cupcake, get outside! Go for a walk! Hate the outside? Use a treadmill, a stationary bike, an elliptical! Get your oxygen pumping and get those brain chemicals flowing freely. Think about how much better you will feel, and think, and live life. Your brain will thank you.
My brain is now “empty” of stress and negative ideas. As the released chemicals flow through my exhausted body, creative ideas caress my head and easily glide into my consciousness. I am once again grounded and happy, so I can go on with my day. So, I freely admit that my friend Heather did me a favor when she posted Bob’s picture on my Facebook page. Maybe she deserves a cupcake more than Bob needs one. And just so you know, I went to the Daily Burn Facebook page, and found this for Mr. Bob Harper! Maybe he wouldn’t make me do the extra push ups, after all.
So, my darling Cupcake, what do you do to stay grounded or change your negative frame of mind? What do you like to do to alleviate your stress? What activities do you enjoy that gets your oxygen and mind flowing freely? Remember to share if you can. You may be helping another reader, and that will be a karmic boomerang for you. Have a great day, and stay frosted!
Between advertisements and teachers of the Law of Attraction, people are telling us that we are, in one way or another, unhappy. Are we? With all the clutter and noise in our heads, what do we believe? The bigger question is this: how mentally aware are you, Cupcake? Do you constantly cruise around in your head and monitor your thoughts, or do you let your thoughts monitor you?
Before I continue, let me be clear. I love the principles of the Law of Attraction. There is a certain logic to the fact that we create our own worlds. Think about it. Do you ever have a day that starts out badly, and just gets worse as your mind set turns into, “Why does this always happen to me?” Do you have a day where you wake up on the “right side of the bed,” and the day is all butterflies and cupcakes? Ever wonder why? Do you drift from day to day in an emotional waterslide, turning, falling, and eventually reaching the same destination as everyone else? If this is you, know three things.
You are not acting as a mentally aware person.
You are not applying certain rules of the Law of Attraction.
This is not your fault.
In today’s world, we are bombarded with useless information, inundated with advertisements on how to be better people. According to Jay Walker-Smith, we are blasted with anywhere from 3,000 to 5,000 advertisements a day. All of them tell us in some way that our lives are not complete; we are secretly woeful about something. How do we choose which advice to follow? How do we choose what to buy? How do we choose who we want to be, and then choose the company or person who is going to help us become our new version the quickest and easiest way? It all depends on if we are mentally aware. We should be paying attention to our own thoughts and feelings as these advertisements entice us to spend money. The more mentally aware we are, the more we can defend ourselves against some of the unimportant junk we seem to invite into our lives.
The advertisements all have one theme in common: they give the message that you are not enough, and what you have is not enough. One commercial says if you drink a specific beverage, you will have more friends (you don’t have enough friends; you are lonely). Another claims that if you buy this shoe, you will be a better athlete (you are not talented enough to go far on your own). My favorite ads are the car commercials, promising excitement and wonderful travel excursions and sexy lovers, but only if you buy the right vehicle (you can’t make the right decision on your own, you boring dummy). Can you see a pattern here? Perfume, kitchen gadgets, name it: your life is just not good enough as it is. As Jacob Soki says about his own confusion, “Do I have everything—or nothing at all?”
Now, add to this the fanfare over the Law of Attraction. The Secretcreated a big stir and a ton of interest in people (over 19 million copies sold in 46 languages, according to Wikipedia). Everyone was excited, but as people started to attempt to manifest improved lives, something strange happened to some of them. Some people had what Joshua Bloom called a “whiplash effect”: a few people had adverse reactions to their affirmations or mental visualizations, while other people had physical reactions such as headaches. If you read or listen to the more prominent people shown in The Secret, they will tell you that “there’s a little more to the Law of Attraction” than just thinking about what you want. Sorry to tell you, Cupcake, but you can’t just wish upon a star.
So, what happened to cause this whiplash effect? According to Bloom and Andy Shaw (creator of ABug Free Mind), the problem was easy to see, not easy to solve. If you experienced this effect, you did believe what you were thinking/wishing/wanting to manifest. At some deep level, you did not trust you were worthy of that which you desired. You did not truly believe that God, or the universe, or Source loved you infinitely and would manifest your new reality. As Dr. Wayne W. Dyer says, “As you think, so shall it be.” You may have said one thing, but your subconscious was thinking another.
And this is easy enough to see. In my case, I first “tried” to manifest a client increase of 20%. Within ten days, I had lost 20% of my clients. I was in shock. What the ^&#*?! I emailed an expert, and I was told that I was blocking my own manifestation, and the universe was trying to tell me what I needed to fix before I could have what I wanted. And the kicker? They couldn’t help me solve my problem. I had to figure that out on my own.
To say it took “a while” would be an understatement. There was a definite learning curve, small successes and horrible black eyes of failures (I call them rehearsals) while I found my own mental awareness and learned how to find peace in my thoughts. If you look at some of the master teachers in this field–Lisa Nichols, Brendon Burchard, and Bob Proctor—they share similar stories. They had a low moment in life, they decided to do something about it, and they worked their tails off until they figured their own personal paths to manifestation. Nobody did it overnight.
We are all different, and all the same. We have been conditioned to feel unfulfilled or unhappy in life since we were young. Need more convincing? Check out my blog on shame, and see if some of the words I wrote resonate with you. Each of us experience life, but we experience our lives in relation to our individual pasts, and our individual senses pick up different sensations. For this reason, nobody can tell youhow to easily get rid of your mental junk and become a lean, clean, mentally aware cupcake. You have to do this part on your own. Think of it this way: the butterfly has to physically fight its way out of its cocoon. If you help it escape, it will die because its wings will be too weak to fly.
Maybe you’re a butterfly fighting your way out of your own cocoon.
And this is why I am here. If you are a master of manifestation, I congratulate you and send extra sprinkles for frosting your way. You probably do not need this site. However, if you are someone who has tried the manifesting realm and you have not had the success that you deserved, I might be able to help. I can give you methods to change your brain patterns in small ways, and help you see where your inner thinking might be delaying your brain’s transformation to a more positive and productive manifesting person. It all starts with your mental awareness, and that is where I encourage you to start today.
Starting right now, monitor your thoughts. Pay attention without judgement. You do not need to do anything else. Usually the first several minutes that people practice mental awareness, they get a little fatigued. They also tend to judge themselves, so I encourage you to simply listen to your thoughts, and take note of them. If you can observe them without judgement, extra cupcake for you.
What did you notice about your thoughts? Did you feel anything when you were in a state of mental awareness? How long could you sustain your focus? I’d love for you to share in the comments below, and let me know how things are going. Your comments may help someone else with an “aha” moment, and that’s a karma boomerang in the making!
Some people think that vanilla is boring. It has nothing to offer because it is not flashy or loud, and it never gets “new and improved.” Do not be swayed by such people: vanilla is amazing. And the same people who do not see the importance of vanilla are the same people who are unaware of their brain power, negative or positive. Do not fall into this category: vanilla is awesome. And you are vanilla with brain power.
The vanilla plant flower is white, the color associated with innocence, purity, friendship or neutrality (white flag of truce). Late in the 19th century, Physicians chose to wear white coats to represent hope. Psychologically, the color white aids in mental clarity and creativity. The Urban Dictionary claims that vanilla is “the original of something, like the original Ice Cream flavour. In computer games the original game is called classic or vanilla when the expansion comes out.” To be called “vanilla” is to be called original.
On the cupcake side, vanilla is a staple ingredient: it is found in ice cream, cookies and all sorts of wonderful baked goods. It can be added to drinks (God Bless Sonic and Starbucks). And get this: it is used to enhance the flavor of chocolate, caramel, and custard. If you were to go into any carwash place, convenience store, grocery store, the perfume section in Wal-Mart or Saks, vanilla is all over the place. It is popular in perfumes because scientists believe the smell induces “innocent” thoughts and a softer, more subtle smell. It is used in candles, infusers, soaps, air-fresheners, oils, lotions, and certain kinds of make-up. The pure smell of vanilla is used in certain medical and therapeutic practices, as it reduces stress and anxiety. Basically, vanilla makes everything better.
The smell of vanilla, whether in its purest form or somewhere in the mix of a product, reminds people of childhood times, and generates intense happy memories: softness, great comfort food, warmth and love.
I consider warmth and love among our most precious commodities, right up there with food and water and air. How versatile is vanilla? In some instances, it HAS to be added, or the flavor is sour. Just like vanilla, you are versatile, and there are things that only you can do. You matter.
Maybe you think you don’t. Maybe you haven’t been given a raise in a while, or maybe your boss and coworkers haven’t given you compliments lately. Maybe even your family and friends have neglected you somewhat, and since you’re not one to really raise a stink or cause waves, maybe you feel like you’re underachieving, underappreciated, or just plain stuck. This may be how you feel right now, but it is not necessarily reality. So, let’s change your brain pattern just a tad, shall we? See if we can change your frown into a happy face today.
Just so you know, we are all vanilla, some more than others. We are all the same deep down, simply because we all abide by certain universal rules: be kind to others, share what you have, and help if you can. You, my dear reader, have vanilla in spades.
Maybe you are dependable; rain, sun, sleet or hurricane, you are where you say you will be when you say you will be there. Your word is your bond, and people trust you without fail, because they know you will come through for them.
Perhaps you are a giver. It makes you happy to find the perfect give for someone and watch her face light up when she receives it.
Maybe you are supportive; in your job, family, and social circles, people probably ask you for help often, and you do everything in your power not to let others down. People also know this about you, which makes them trust you more and depend upon you more. You are everyone’s cheerleader, and it makes you happy to see your friends happy and successful, because their success is your success.
And maybe they forget to thank you because you are so integrated into their world that your presence—your dependability, your endless support—is so continuous, that you are like the very air they breathe. When they come to you for help, it is because they know without a doubt that you will do whatever they are asking better than anyone else in their world, and they simply think of you as an extension of their own hands. They have forgotten that you are your own cupcake, in your own little cupcake wrapper, with your own favorite cupcake icing on top. Because all of us are part vanilla, they have picked up on your strong vibration, and absorbed it into theirs.
And that’s OK. We are not here to judge or blame. Do not think of these people in a negative light. Each time they ask you for help, or they thank you for finding the perfect gift, they are affirming your importance to them. Remember this. If you need other affirmation from friends and family, you can always ask. If you do this, do not get wimpy on me or on them: promise me you will be clear and unemotional, and do not apologize. You are not trying to hurt their feelings; you are sharing your feelings, and you have that right. Own your cupcake, and bring on the vanilla! Often, we are advised to “get rid of negative people.” Maybe this is not possible for you today, or maybe you are not ready for such a separation right now. That’s OK. You are an original, and you have unique gifts, and you may share your gifts with whomever you choose. When you are ready, you will share more with others. Until then, these ideas may help.
courtesy of Meditation DeMystified
Before I move onto exercises to help change your brain pattern, let me quickly explain the functions of our five brain waves. All five brain waves work at the same time, but each wave has a specific purpose, so when we do certain activities, the corresponding wave becomes stronger than the others for that period of time. For instance, fast Beta waves are responsible for our focus, memory, and problem solving. We are in this state most of the time, since Beta waves deal with making quick decisions as we maneuver our day. Because of their speed, Beta waves also take a major amount of energy. This explains why some people are exhausted after work or a day with the kids; even though they did not perform manual labor, they used large amounts of energy as they made several decisions throughout the day.
The fastest waves, Gamma, are responsible for our learning: Gamma waves take outside information and rework it so we learn it. They are also responsible for our REM sleep, which doctors claim as important for—yep, you guessed it: learning. We spend most of our lives in these two states, but that is not always a good thing, and when these two waves get too active, they interfere with the other waves, even “blocking” some and keeping them from doing their jobs. I think we all know the effects of consuming too much caffeine or sugar (or both)! Stress, hyperactivity, and loss of sleep are all results of overworked Beta and Gamma waves.
On the other end of the EEG spectrum, Delta waves are the slowest of the brain waves. Delta waves are responsible for restorative sleep, our involuntary system (functions we have no control over such as digestion), and our immune system. All of these are stronger when the Delta waves are happily humming. Interesting note here: the Delta waves disappear when we go under anesthesia.
Theta waves occur in both sleep and deep meditation, and they are responsible for what happens in our daydreams as well as nightmares. They make our unconscious fears and hidden desires.
The last wave is the Alpha wave, which is what you’re going to strengthen just a tad bit today. The Alpha wave is called the resting state of the brain. (See why it might be needed after using Beta and Gamma waves all day?J) Alpha waves work between Beta and Theta frequencies, and when we are in Alpha state, it improves all functions: memory, learning, sleep, intuition, creativity, calmness and alertness. When the Alpha waves are blocked, we can still operate, but we may get a little fuzzy-headed or cranky because we didn’t get enough sleep. All the waves work together, but the Alpha wave is the connector—think of it as a power strip for all the brain waves–and helps us function as lean, mean, fighting cupcakes! Ha!
Don’t get too bogged down in this. Just know that any time we change our perception of something, we actually change our Alpha brain wave pattern, so you’ve been doing this unconsciously your whole life. Way to go! If you need more information, Mindvalley Academy, Mental Health, and Brainworks have easy readings that can get you started.
If you are reading this, you are in Beta and Theta waves. Here are four things that you can do to help move your brain into Alpha state and feel better. Before you read them, set your intention: what is it that you want to receive from these exercises?
You need a stopwatch, a pen, and some notecards.
Have fun! 🙂
Breathe. I know, this seems like a no-brainer, but I’m going to ask you to breathe a certain way, so just relax and read on, Cupcake.
Set your timer for two minutes, and start it. Inhale for a count of five seconds through your nose, hold your breath for a count of five, and exhale completely for a count of three. When you inhale, your chest should expand as your lungs do, and as you exhale forcefully, your abs should “hollow out” and contract a little. You will probably be out of breath when you first begin this. Don’t panic! Just relax, and if you can’t inhale or hold your breath for a count of five, go for a count of four (or heck, count faster, lol). There is no magic number of breaths to reach in this time. The goal is TO BREATHE DEEPLY. Relax, feel the oxygen go through your nose and down your throat, feel your chest rise and fall, and just breathe.
When the timer goes off, grab your pen and paper.
Write. Set your timer for one minute. As fast as you can, write down all the things that make you special, all the things that make you unique and original. Also write down all the things you like about yourself; personality traits, skills, physical appearance, anything goes here. Skip the qualifiers. For instance, I could write, “I’m friendly,” and move on. I would skip “unless I’m tired.” I would only write “I’m friendly,” then move on to “I have pretty eyes,” and keep writing things I like about myself until the timer stops.
Do yourself a favor: RELAXand ENJOY THIS. Do not overthink it. Your brain is in Alpha state from the deep breathing, and the thoughts that are coming to you are true. Don’t fight them or argue them or justify them; just write them downas quickly as they come to you.
When your timer goes off, look at the things you have written. Take ten positive comments, and put one comment on one colored post-it note or colored notecard, until all ten are done. Put the remaining comments safely away, where you can find them later. Now comes the fun part. Take the notecards and place them randomly around your house; in random drawers, under your favorite towel, in your checkbook, any place where you are sure to find them sooner or later. For the next three weeks, when you “discover” your notecards, smile and say, “Yes, I am!” or “Yes, I do!” This brings your positive affirmations to the front of your mind, and reminds you of your awesomeness. In three weeks, either change your cards out, or hide the cards in other places. It takes about twenty-one days to develop a habit, and most people start to ignore the cards if they are still in the same place. If you want to change, you need to keep doing something different. Move the cards, and this develops a new positive brain pattern again, which strengthens the Alpha brain wave again.
Pay attention to your thoughts.Andy Shaw claims that 99% of people go through life not paying attention to their thoughts. We get wrapped up in our anger, or our victim mode, or other negative thoughts, and then we have a bad day, and we have no idea what caused it.
So, here’s your challenge, Cupcake: hold one positive thought for fifteen seconds.
Yep. That’s it. Just 15 little ol’ seconds.
Most people find this surprisingly difficult; they realize they start to daydream, or think about work, or form evening plans. If this is the case for you, try to find a strong, happy memory. Add details, such as colors, sounds, smells, sounds, and anything else that you remember. If you can get control of your thinking for twenty minutes, you’re a mastermind. All day? Jedi material. Can’t do fifteen seconds? Today is a great day to start practicing. Own your cupcake, baby! This time, it’s all mental, and you WILL own this!
Stand up straight! Do this any time you need a little pick-me-up or confidence. Scratch that: do this, period. Bring your shoulder blades close to each other until you feel your posture change, then bring them just a little closer than that. Close your eyes, and feel your body. Your shoulders should be directly over your hips in a straight line (and you are now an inch taller—yay!).
Now, look up. Find a spot in front of you at eye level anywhere from fifteen to thirty feet in front of you. Keep your head up, and keep your shoulder blades pulled toward each other. Walk to that spot, then find another spot at eye level, and walk to it. If you are walking into people traffic, feel free to look at them and smile. As long as your shoulders are pulled back, your feet will actually pick up and land with better form and authority, and they will send happy feet signals back to the brain, and Boom! Another awesome happy brainwave shift.
Done! Way to go, Cupcake! Make sure you share some of your original and uniqueness with us other cupcakes, so we can all celebrate you!
Monitor your thoughts as often as you can, and try to increase your thought time each time you hold a positive thought in your mind. Walk tall everywhere, and practice your breathing. If you ever feel your anxiety raising, you don’t have to do the five-count method. Most scientists believe that three deep, chest-expanding inhales followed by similar exhales will put the brain in Alpha state (5 seconds was the average number of most people studied). Have fun, and let me know how you’re doing!
How do you relax? What do you do to help yourself feel better? Please share in the comments below. You may be helping others who read this!
When we work on self-improvement, we often try to “let go” of things, and most people agree this is best for us. If we rid ourselves of “items” or emotions that no longer serve us, we will be happier, more complete. Our brain patterns will change with our sacrifice, because we are sacrificing that which harms us.
But is this all we have to do? Is sacrifice truly the key ingredient to making ourselves one hundred percent amazing? We just have to give up something? The word itself, sacrifice, brings forth tight feelings by its mere mention; guilty residual from past accusations of selfishness, or perhaps inner pain stirs in the heart or head. Maybe our brains inherently remember the definition calls for the killing of a calf or offering something precious to God or other deity. Maybe we have so little that we cannot bear to lose more. Maybe our brains are a mess because of past life lessons. Not only do we have trouble seeing how much we actually own, we cannot even begin to see how much we have to offer, and what we can give.
I love Christie Marie Sheldon , Jennifer McLean and several others in spiritual healing fields. I believe that we need to bury hatchets, forgive and forget, and try to find a way to magnify our gifts and live our passion. As Joshua Bloom said in one of his interviews, “Science works, no matter what we believe.” We cannot deny that if we are out of tune somehow— if we don’t get enough sleep, we eat unhealthy food, or we stay angry for long periods of time—there are specific consequences. We do some serious damage do our bodies, our psyche, and even our relationships (personal and business). Sometimes, though, it is damn near impossible to bury a hatchet, especially when Iyou a person so strongly desires to place that hatchet in someone’s back (or heart, or wherever). So, let us forget about all the heavy stuff. Just let it go for a few minutes, OK? This is not that kind of blog today.
I was raised in the Catholic Church. I have visited other religions, attended various churches, but when I take Communion, it is in the Catholic Church, and when I go home to my visit my relatives, we go to service in the Catholic Church. I’m not extremely devout, but people who know me believe that I have faith in God. I admit, most of the Catholic sermons are not like some of the “rock star” sermons I have attended in other churches. The priests are not loud, and their sermons are seldom entertaining. However, every now and then, we cross paths with a cheerful ball of heavenly energy , and it is an awesome experience. In a church where one is always expected to sacrifice our evil natures (sugar, bad language, Dr. Peppers), one priest changed my world of sacrifice forever.
“While giving up something is all very well, what if we did something to take something up?” He explained that if we could add something godlike in our routines, our actions would also practice spiritual self-discipline, and the bonus is that we would feel better about ourselves on more levels than simply emotional. And rather than explain this, I can give you ten activities to try. I challenge you to come up with some of our own.
Ten Ways to “Take Something Up”
Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time for no other reason than you love him or her.
Instead of taking the closest parking spot, park farther away so someone else (without a handicapped decal who is ill or weaker than you) can have it.
You add something healthy to the meal before you have your treat. (Don’t you dare be a smart-aleck and say that cupcakes have milk and eggs in them, so that’s healthy; opt for a vegetable or two, a natural protein, and more water).
Before you go out drinking with the girls (or guys), drink at least sixteen ounces of water before Bacchus’ ambrosia flows. Better yet, try drinking some water during the outing. This will help with the dehydration and hangover effect in the morning.
Take inventory of what you haven’t used in the last six months, or even the last year (a sweater you did not wear, the pair of boots that looks suspiciously like seven other pairs of boots you own). Gather the forgotten or abandoned items, and give them to the charity of your choice. Now, you have more room to buy more items. J You’re welcome.
Unplug from all electronic gadgets, and spend time with a loved one.
Get a buddy to go for a walk.
Write a letter to someone, and send it through snail mail. Yes, like for real, with a concrete writing instrument, on genuine paper, put into an actual envelope and a real live stamp (they have some pretty cool stamps out now). Think about it: when is the last time you received a “hi there” for no reason in your mailbox?
Make something for someone to show gratitude. I bake, but that’s because I can, and the people I bribe like my goodies. Cards are usually another hit.
Volunteer. For anything that you want.
So, here you go, dear reader: ten ingredients that I added to my own cupcake self. I admit, the boot sacrifice was hard for me. However, I am sure that somebody also found them wonderful, and wore them more than I ever would. Feel free to mull this over. Better yet, I suggest you try ONEway to “take something up” of your choosing for a week, and let me know how it goes. Brave? Awesome. Try two. Also, did you come up with any other ways to “take something up?” How did you feel when you did this? Did anything happen that corresponded with your action and emotion? I’m interested, so feel free to share!
As always, keep me posted, make it a rainbow day, and stay frosted!
So, today my computer world crashed. All of it. My iPad, my HP laptop, my Gateway desktop; they all went blue-screen berserk on me. I borrowed my husband’s computer for a few minutes; then he realized what I was doing and yanked it away from my murderous hands lest my poisonous fingers kill his livelihood along with my own. There’s no telling what went wrong: I have no idea, so please don’t ask. I came home from the tennis courts, worked out, then tried to do my graduate homework. All hell broke loose. The iPad went dark, as if its battery died, so I moved to my laptop. It froze, turned a brilliant shade of aqua blue, so I politely left it to sort itself out and I moved to the desktop.
The desktop worked great for sixteen minutes or so, then the screen started changing colors, like it was remembering the order of rainbow hues, then it also went blue, and froze. None of them have returned to the land of the living yet. So, here I write to you on my neighbor’s computer, after, of course, he prayed over it. Like I meant to kill my toys. I do not have murder in my heart, even when I look like I haven’t slept in a month and I have lightning coming from my hands.
Tomorrow I will go to Best Buy, and they will fix my precious electronic friends. Same as new. Without charging me a dime. And they will tell me what I need to do so this NEVER EVER happens again. Since this is my clear intention, and I have full confidence that this or something better will happen, I will sleep like a child tonight.
Ever have those moments, where something unplanned occurs, and you have so much faith in yourself and others around you that you have no fear? Or are you one of those people that sees the falling sky, and wonders, “Why does this always happen to me?”
Want to know a quick secret? It is not an accident, either way. You are creating your world, for better or worse, through sickness and health, until death do you part. Don’t believe me? Great. Today you get to try this one activity. Actually, I lied. You have to try two activities.
1) Monitor your thoughts. Pay attention! When you wake up in the mornings, are you excited about the day, or do you dread putting your feet on the ground and starting? When you drop a gallon of brand new orange juice so that it explodes all over the kitchen (that was me the other day), do you swearing and thinking negative thoughts, or do you just mop it up and get ready for work, still in a good mood?
As you move in traffic, what thoughts go through your mind? In the office, with your coworkers, employees, employers, random people that cross paths with you, as you interact, what thought structure runs through your brain? Are they negative, like “Oh, gosh, I really don’t want to talk to her today!”? Are they positive, like “I’m so happy I get see her this afternoon!” Do you use negative words, like, “I’m so stupid! I can’t believe I did that!” or do you use positive words, “Well, what a fortunate turn of events! I can do this in a better way.”
2) Notice what you are thinking when you feel a certain way–frustration, happiness, eagerness, exhaustion, surprise, contentment, fear, nervous, angry, and any other emotion that I may have missed—without judgment. Just try to see/hear/feel your thoughts, and do not criticize. This is the first step to being a little happier in life. Be aware. According to Andy Shaw of A Bug-Free Mind, most people have absolutely no idea what ideas they generate in their heads, so most of the time people move unconsciously through life. They are not aware of what they are bringing into their lives, or what they may be stopping from appearing in their lives.
So, that’s it, I’m done. My neighbor is politely watching me, trying not to look worried. Maybe it’s because my fingers are moving so fast they look like lightning. Maybe he just wants his computer back safely.Do not stress over this. No judgment, remember? Simply relax, and monitor your thoughts as often as you can remember. The first time I did this several years ago, I found that checking in on my thoughts was harder than I thought it would be. I’ll share more some other time, in one of my 2200-word posts. Tonight is not about me; tonight is about you, Cupcake, and what’s inside your scrumptious brain. Are your thoughts sugar and spice, and everything nice? Are they snakes and jails, and scorpion tails? Are they a mix? Are they simply colors? How does your body react? What is happening around you?
As you try to do this activity as much as possible, celebrate yourself! You are becoming more aware of YOU, which makes you an even more wonderful gift to yourself and to others. Big yay and cheerleading jump! Find your thoughts, Cupcake, and as always, let me know how it’s going! What’s inside you, Cupcake?
I bid you sweet good-bye until next time, and I will leave you with one more thought: Kill the thing-ing, not the computer. Be the best cupcake you can be, and stay frosted!
The word “gratitude” is the new shame word for this decade. How many times have we heard “You need to be grateful” over the course of our lives? We hear this phrase as children, as teenagers, and even as adults, the theme echoing from past and overlapping the present.
You should be grateful for the shoes you have on your feet. When I was a kid, I walked to school barefoot (uphill both ways and in snow all year).
You should be grateful that you get the chance to do anything (play a sport, take music lessons, or go to a friend’s sleepover).
You should be grateful that I embarrassed you at the meet-the-teacher night at school (or ). It means I care about you. I wish I had someone care about me that much when I was your age.
If we do not feel gratitude, others shame us for being unappreciative. Even though no one says this, the message we receive when we hear “You’re so ungrateful” may be subtle, but its effects are everlasting. Our subconscious mind translates the phrase into such ideas as:
You are an uncaring person, so you are a horrible human being.
You are unworthy.
You do not deserve approval.
You should feel ashamed of yourself.
It’s a funny thing when we hear these phrases aloud; we don’t even register the latter part of the phrase. The first part has pierced us, it had done its damage. Guilt and shame stain our souls and the stain becomes darker as years go by, and each time we hear these words, the stain we try to ignore grows in size and darkens.
When I was younger, I used to get upset when people asked, “What do you want for your birthday?” and bought me something altogether different from what I had requested. Sometimes they gave me something that cost much more than what I had asked for, but that did not matter to me. My angry reasoning was, “Why ask what I want if you’re not going to get it for me?” You can imagine how this went over with my parents. Right now, you may even be agreeing with them. If you’re a parent, you may have had a similar incident or two. Maybe my parents did not believe I really wanted what was on my list. Maybe I was not clear enough. You might be thinking I am a rude and ungrateful human. Put your gavel down, Judge Reader. Hear me out.
I was not ungrateful: I was confused and hurt. In my inner child’s mind, I felt betrayed by the people who bought me gifts. My inner child thought, in the simplest of terms, they lied to me. They had led me to believe that if I informed them what I wanted by writing down my Christmas list or birthday wishes, I would receive something I had requested. Is this not a version of the Holy Bible’s “Ask, and ye shall receive” concept? As adults, others tell us when we practice the Law of Attraction, we receive what we appreciate. However, if we study the principles, repeat the necessary affirmation but don’t get what we want, we should not feel anger; we should feel ashamed. And if I remember the stain on my soul, if I did it wrong, the “shame” code whispers that I’m not smart enough, so I’m not worthy, so I don’t deserve.
Can you see a pattern here? Do any of these above statements resonate with you somehow? If so, we need to shift your brain pattern, just a little. I promise, no pain here. There is no right or wrong way to do this, either. You only have to try.
Today, I share my gratitude journal with you. I hate to admit this, but I am not the best gratitude journal writer in the whole wide world, and truth be told, I may never be. However, I can stop my mind from languishing in an all-out self-pity party and shift so it can find positive things in my life that I can appreciate. You might benefit if you can see how I move out of my mental “funks,” how I get out of the “ungrateful” zone, if you will. Maybe if you can see how I change my brain’s behavior and attitude, you can apply this to your own life.
Now, let it be known that I am a chocoholic like no other. I should start a support group, “Hi, I’m Liz. I’m an addict.” I know they have Overeaters Anonymous, but this is still different. I can go for days eating nothing but triple-chunk brownies, with or without fudge frosting. I can do the same for Hostess Ding Dongs, and hey, you guessed it, cupcakes (but only good ones—too dry or bad frosting, I’m out). And no, I’m not exaggerating. Come find me toward the end of a semester when I’m writing my final papers for grad school. Come find me when I have had an unpleasant visit with family members. Come find me when someone tells me I need to lose weight. It’s my passive aggressive nature. I know this about myself, but when I’m agitated and stupid tired and the chocolate is calling my name, I lose all control. I don’t even keep track of how much I’m eating until I pick up the last brownie and go, “Crap! I ate them ALL? In just four hours? Wow!” Please don’t judge me: at least I know myself and I’m being honest with you (you should be grateful, lol).
So, last week I had the lowest health moment in my life. I was going to a baptism, and I could not find anything to wear. I had gained so much weight in the last several months, that I literally did not fit into anything I own other than workout clothes or sweats. I don’t care what planet you’re on, workout clothes and sweats are not appropriate for attending a Baptism. Luckily, I found a cute long skirt with a forgiving elastic waist and a big blouse, so I threw them on and told myself I would deal with my problem when I returned home.
I had known I was gaining weight all spring. There had been signs: a wedding during Spring Break, where I could only fit into my “fat” outfits; a presentation I had to do where I could not find a nice shirt to wear, and I did not have time to shop; the fact that I would not look at myself in the mirror when I brushed my teeth or got into or out of the shower. But last weekend, I needed to face facts, so I jumped on the ol’ Weight Watchers scale, which read 207.8. This is the largest I have been in my whole, entire life. I wanted to cry.
And I can sit here and make excuses all day. At the end of the semester, right before finals week, I came down with pneumonia. I coughed so much I threw up a couple of times. The steroids they gave me helped me gain weight. When I returned to the doctor the second week because I’d become worse, they gave me more drugs. During this whole time, all I wanted was comfort food. There was no healthy food here; if I was awake, I wanted chocolate and sugar, in vast amounts. My husband tried to help by saying, “Here, let me make you something to eat. You’re going to gain weight and be unhappy.” Of course, this only kicked in my nature to eat more in rebellion. When I finally looked at myself in the mirror, I was shocked and appalled. I had eaten so much that I now had to lose 37.8 pounds to just get back into my clothes (yep, I know what I need to weigh so I can fit into my clothes—sue me), and more 45.8 pounds to get to a weight that makes my doctor and my body happy.
Harvard Health did a study on gratitude in 2011. When doctors asked patients to write about pleasant memories, the patients’ happiness scores raised. When the patients wrote a thank you letter to a specific person, the “impact was greater” than any other form of therapy, and the patients were happier for up to one month. Experts with Forbes also suggest that you write in your gratitude journal every day, and five seems to be the “magic” number to help change brain activity. So, in the spirit of helping, I will give you five reasons that I am able to express gratitude for this weight dilemma.
1) I am grateful that I am healthy enough to work out and make my own meals. Put things in perspective. I could be so much worse off, but I am extremely fortunate: I don’t have to take medicine (other than Claritin-D for allergies), I have a library of over 100 workout videos, and I know how to cook. I am also smart enough to buy cold cuts and fruit already cut for the days that I am too tired to cook or fix my meals.
2) I am grateful that I can own my cupcake. There’s an ad for an exercise machine on TV. I’m sure you’ve seen it. One of the clients claims that she gained 64 pounds when she was pregnant and states, “That’s not baby weight, that’s donuts.” She owned her cupcake. While I would love to blame my weight gain on pneumonia and prescriptions, I know this is not true. It was all the junk food I ate, coupled with the fact that I had quit my workouts. I have to be honest, because that is what allows me to change.Honesty releases my brain to start solving the problem and quit living with shame in the past. I don’t need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. This is what happened. It is what it is. How do I change it? When I give my brain a puzzle, it happily goes on a quest to find answers; and its happiness increases my happiness. This is true for everyone.
3) I am grateful that I know I can succeed. There’s a funny thing that happens in your mind. If you can succeed in one thing—ANYTHING—your brain remembers this, and it will help you figure out how to succeed again. It does not matter if you’re a genius or not. You just have to ask yourself some questions, and help yourself remember. What was my mindset when I succeeded? Who helped me (did I do this by myself, with a friend/relative, or did I join a group)? When I encountered a problem, how did I solve it? When my progress slowed down or seemed to stop, how did I manage to get it going again? How did I achieve my goal last time? Bonus thought: when you succeeded last time, it was God’s (or the universe’s) way of telling you that you deserved this awesome achievement, and you should be proud of yourself. You are worthy. I have never lost this much weight before; however, I HAVE lost weight in the past, so I know I can do this if I use a little effort.
4) I am grateful that I can work out. One of my favorite workouts is a TurboFire video. During the cool down Chalene Johnson says, “Know that you are blessed to be able to do this workout.” I smile and give a fist pump every time, because yeah, there are people around me who can’t. I stopped workouts in the spring. I start them again tomorrow. My plan is to do my favorite workouts for the first three weeks, then I can add others. Why? Because I know it takes about twenty-one days to build a habit; since I like how I feel when I work out, this plan will help me succeed. See a new pattern emerging? (I simply asked my brain questions, and it went to work for me.)
5) I am grateful for today’s blog post. To be honest, I felt humiliated when I read the number on my scale. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I had allowed myself to become this size. When I pulled out my gratitude journal, I did not feel grateful, because I had been lying to myself for months. I had betrayed myself. But, through writing to you, I found my five things (plus more). To be honest, I had a different idea for my very first blog post to kick off June, but I think this one might be better. Why? Today I talked about my weight, I confessed to a billion strangers (ok, maybe closer to 50, but still, strangers) that I had gained an unhealthy amount of weight, and I told everyone that I start my workouts again tomorrow. Whether I meant to or not, I just gave myself accountability, because somebody who reads this is going to check in on me somewhere down the road. (I’m kind of depending on it, so don’t be shy! J) Hopefully, I also gave some of you some ideas on how to take more positive steps.
Be kind to yourself. If you are reading my blog, you are a cupcake, full of all that is good and right in the world. Gluten-free, old, young, burnt, plain, frosted, it does not matter. If you’re reading this paragraph, something here resonated, and I hope it helps you in some way. We don’t have to feel ashamed when things don’t go the way we want or planned. Sometimes failure (or weight gain) is God’s (or Source’s) encouragement for us to find other ways to succeed. You are wonderful just the way you are, and you deserve to be happy. Do yourself a favor today. Ask yourself these questions:
1) What is one goal I have for today/this week/this month/this year?
2) How can I do this?
3) Who can I share this with, so I can receive support and comfort?
4) What five things, no matter how small, can I be grateful for right now?
Still here? Yay! I am so grateful that you came here today, I am grateful that you read my blog all the way to the end, and I am so grateful that you are going to take time to comment on my post! J or just let me know how you’re doing. Got something to share? Great! I’d love to hear your story.
Be the cupcake you were born to be, my friend, and stay frosted!
Thank you for coming to the party! I am so very glad you’re here! Let’s celebrate your greatness!
Ownyourcupcake is here because everyone needs a little sugar in her life. Lately, the word cupcake has been associated with weakness. The phrase “Suck it up, cupcake!” is yelled when someone isn’t performing well or wants to quit an activity, and a person is called “cupcake” when she is perceived as lazy, weak, or just not up to someone else’s standards. Speaking as an avid lover of cupcakes (especially chocolate cake with chocolate chips and cream cheese frosting–yummy!), I am here to inform you of three things:
There are days when you need to be a cupcake, and that’s perfectly ok. Go for it with abandon. Bawl your eyes out until your head gets stuffy, your eyes puff up and you can’t see, and your nose is red enough to help Santa on Christmas Eve. You will feel better when you are completely drained, and then you will be ready to heal.
There are days when you need to “suck it up.” Embrace your pain, and be stronger than you think you are; this is an opportunity to become a better you;
There are days when you need to be strong enough to look in the mirror and learn the real the cause of your pain, which is the best cupcake ever. Why, you ask? It means you are ready to change a part of your life.
There is no judgement here to which kind of cupcake you are or which kind of cupcake you choose to be: there is only the desire to help you be the best cupcake under the sun. So, my dear reader: see your cupcake, be your cupcake, and own your cupcake! 🙂
Just like cupcakes, people have the same basic ingredients, but certain elements that make them different. As humans, we all feel emotions of fear, sadness, anger, and happiness; however, our separate backgrounds and experiences make us who we are. On this site, I’m going to give you a few tools to navigate life in an easier way as I help you regain a little control over the one thing in life that you should be able to: your greatness and happiness. I will share scenarios that most people have experienced or can relate to (being cut off in traffic, feeling rejected), and then I will give you two or three exercises to help banish the negativity that can become emotional baggage over time. Sometimes I will mention an author, a book, or a webpage. Do not panic! I am not selling anything (yet, ha!). This may be a resource that I have found helpful or a place where I found similar information. I am simply giving credit where credit is due. Of course, you are free to buy the book or visit the webpage, but do not feel obligated in any way to spend money.
Starting June 8, I will post blogs once a week, maybe more if I’m feeling spicy. The “breaks” are so you have time to try out my suggestions and actually put them into action. Gotta’ own your cupcake, remember?
Cupcake, what do you do to stay grounded or change your negative frame of mind? What do you like to do to alleviate your stress? What activities do you enjoy that gets your oxygen and mind flowing freely? Remember to share if you can. You may be helping another reader, and that will be a karmic boomerang for you. Have a great day, and stay frosted!
n a star.
it. Like I meant to kill my toys. I do not have murder in my heart, even when I look like I haven’t slept in a month and I have lightning coming from my hands.
ownyourcupcake 
